What problem are you solving? And how are you going to solve it?
That’s the foundation to any business. You can’t have a solution to offer unless you know the problem. And you can’t execute on the solution without a clear vision on how to do so.
The same goes for people.
Truth: There is one consistent problem leading people to coaching.
It’s not all the reasons coaches (myself included) claim it to be. It’s not just “feeling stuck,” building a business, healthy lifestyle, career change, grief, identity crisis, divorce, menopause. On and on.
At the root of every request is:
Living a life that doesn’t align to personal values.
It sounds oversimplified. Many could argue it’s life’s curveballs throwing us off the plan. Unexpected twists and we have to react. Sprinkle in culture norms and it’s not our fault we’re driving to soccer practice on a Saturday instead of jumping off waterfalls in Costa Rica.
You’re right: it’s not your fault.
Now imagine flipping the script. Imagine living a life of value because of your values.
The only adjustment here is knowing where your motivations come from.
Think of it like strength exercising. When you understand what muscles should be driving the movement, you get more power. (Spoiler: it’s always the glutes.)
There are four steps to changing the narrative from living with a “something doesn’t feel right” day to the fulfilled daily life.
1) Be Honest
Identify what areas in life feel great, fulfilled, and driven by motivation. These are the things that fuel you even if they require energy.
Do the same for the areas in life depleting you and stealing energy. Be Brutally Honest. There are no wrong answers and nothing should equate to guilt.
Most clients uncover they are on autopilot. We are robots to the daily schlepping of work, kids, schedules. Rinse and repeat. There’s not a lot of fulfillment, because there’s not a lot of filling up our energy.
2) Identify Values
The only way to know what to change, is to know the goals. Sure “Goals” are the foundation to every work meeting, fitness plan, and coaching program. The definition of goals here is: what will living a life of value look like to you?
No two answers will be the same because at the core are fundamental values making us unique. It’s no surprise when we feel discomfort living a life that feels like it “should” fit in.
Identifying your values is the only way to understand what will bring value to your life.
3) Build Identity From Values
Our culture does a great job of proving career and parenthood matter the most. We frequently identify ourselves based on such details. “I am a teacher. I am a mother. I am a soccer mom.”
These are secure yet shallow answers. These answers only tell us who we are within the cultural norms and rulebooks society is giving us.
When we start to shift our identities through our values the answers change. If you value curiosity then that might drive your motivation to share knowledge with others. This changes the script from “I am a teacher” to “I am a giver of knowledge.”
These may not change what we do. Yet it does change how we approach what we do. Sometimes that motivation is enough to change mindset and fulfillment.
Other times modifying the approach to identity will help how we adapt to change and challenges.
4) Live with Intention
For some, life feels like a prescribed script. Childhood, school, college, career, marriage, kids, retirement, death.
Um…Awesome?!
Even when life goes “according to plan” we still act surprised when it doesn’t feel enough. Then when life goes off-script we feel even more chaos, unfulfilled, or emotionally paralyzed.
Understanding our values means building our identity around what builds value in our lives. By intentionally focusing on these values, we create a stronger foundation to make choices and adapt to challenges with more ease.
Bottom line:
When you understand your values, you can shift your identity and motivation.
By shifting motivations you change the approach to each day, each choice, and each challenge.
Then we can live a life of value.
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